I stole 7 Billion Dollars because Jesus wanted me to do it!


A Florida man confessed to detectives that he had stole 7 Billion Dollars in illegal transfers from a bank. Why? You may ask.

Well That’s nothing that I (The writer) can answer but he states that “Jesus Christ created wealth for all of us.” John Haskew (The suspect pictured) pled guilty this week for making false statements to the federal government.

Prosecutors say the unemployed Haskew needed to pay off a debt to the federal government. To do that, he provided a bank routing number that wasn’t his. He subsequently made over 70 transactions worth $7 billion with that routing number.

According to the complaint, Haskew told investigators “he believed he could obtain wealth that Jesus Christ created for him.”
….Well my friend you are the REAL MVP!

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